When I began in the ministry, it was assumed that my wife would be the church pianist, lead the women’s ministry and teach children in Sunday school. She was expected to be on call for whatever needs anyone in the church might have. The jobs in the church no one else wanted were given to her. Fortunately, that attitude has improved somewhat over the years. But even today there are often expectations for our wives that go way beyond what the Bible says.
It is a great honor and privilege to be a pastor’s wife, but there are also special responsibilities. She is in a unique position to encourage, pray with and support the man entrusted to lead and shepherd a congregation. Her work is often thankless and carried out behind the scenes, but it is meaningful and its effect is felt throughout the community. She also sets an example of a godly wife and mother to others as they watch her and copy her.
The Bible is very clear about the requirements for pastors and elders in a church, but there are no specific requirements for a “pastor’s wife.” I’m a pastor, not a pastor’s wife – but I’m married to one! The role of a pastor’s wife is the same as that of any other wife in a believing household: to love God with all her heart, soul, mind, and strength, and to love and support her husband as he follows God.
Like her husband, she is created in God’s very own image (Genesis 1:26). She is uniquely and specially made (Psalm 139:1-16). She is God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10). She is loved by God the same as her husband. In God’s eyes they are equal (Galatians 3:28). She needs to grow in her own personal relationship with God through regular times of prayer, worship and Bible study. Time with God mut be a priority.
Some pastor’s wives feel a special calling from God to minister while other do not receive this distinct calling. Even if a woman isn’t specifically called to full time ministry as her husband is, she still has unique spiritual gifts to offer in service. The church family views her differently because of her position as pastor’s wife.
Many women have faithfully served Jesus for His glory (Luke 8:1-13; 23:49, 55-56; 24:1-6, 10). The main priority is not to neglect your own walk with the Lord or your spiritual growth. If you are younger in the faith, it can help if you find a mature, godly woman to mentor you. Meet regularly for Bible study, fellowship and prayer. If you are an older, more mature woman find someone younger to build into her life. This takes time but is well worth it.
Pastors’ wives are public figures within their church and community. This can be a burden if they crave privacy, but it is an opportunity to minister inside and outside the church. Pastor’s wives are seen as Jesus’ ambassadors and that can open doors to service and conversation about Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:20). Active participation in community affairs is a way to be salt and light (Matthew 5:13-16). Your life shows the love of Jesus to those who do not know Him (John 13:35). Of course, priorities must be set to make sure the needs of husband, family and self are also being met.
“He who finds a wife finds a good thing” (Proverbs 18:22), and a pastor who finds a godly wife willing to love him and the people he serves is worth more than rubies (Proverbs 31:10, 15). A church with such a pastor and wife has found a treasure from God. A wife can make or break her husband’s ministry. Ask any fruitful pastor about the strengths of his ministry and he will include his wife who has faithfully loved and served him and the church because she loves and serves Jesus above all others. I continually thank God for my wife. I couldn’t have done it without her!
FOR PASTORS: Do you honor your wife as a fellow Christian and heir of heaven, or do you sometimes see her as someone who should serve you because your work is more important than hers?
FOR PASTORS’ WIVES: Do you recognize the important special role God has given you in His Kingdom?
Do you have godly women or mature pastor’s wives with whom you regularly spend time talking and praying?
cto Rev. Dr. JERRY SCHMOYER
Christian Training Organization
Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org
(India Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View)
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