Several years ago God clearly led us to start a Bible study in a nearby location. After much prayer and seeking God’s help we started. As we were to begin the first session a young man walked in and immediately asked if God could save someone who was gay. He was obviously speaking of himself, and also obviously under God’s strong conviction. Just a couple of minutes later he gave his heart to Jesus right there in the middle of the whole group. For awhile he was full of excitement and grew spiritually, but it wasn’t long until he started to withdraw and then broke all contact. He was back in his previous lifestyle. I don’t know what happened to him. I wish I could have done more. Homosexuality is a strong force.
What are the causes of homosexuality? Demonizing is usually involved, either as a cause or a result. But some say is it normal. Does God make some people that like the same sex and others that like the opposite sex, like He makes some who like chocolate and others who like vanilla? Bible-centered information about this is now available. I’ll try to summarize what I’ve learned.
CAUSE OF HOMOSEXUALITY
We saw previously that Samson was deeply influenced by his parents. He was an only child of older parents who indulged him. This clearly impacted his whole life. His parents didn’t even do more than voice a mild concern when he wanted to marry a Gentile unbeliever whom he barely knew (Judges 14:1-6). Evidently he had a weak father.
Often when a child has a disappointing relationship with their same-sex parent they seek to have that need met through a sexual relationship with a person of the same sex. If a child doesn’t feel loved and secure, if they feel rejected, then often turn to a substitute to meet those needs. Statistics show that a high percentage of homosexuals come from an abusive family. When a female is sexually abused by a male she may so hate males that she totally rejects them and turns to females for sexual love instead. A boy who is sexually abused also feels the shame and guilt, but the pleasure that also comes (the physical climax) confuses him. Without a mature male showing him love in godly ways, he may find himself drawn to this since it is the only ‘love’ he has known. Satan’s demons take an experience like that and put thoughts, ideas and desires in his mind and opportunities in his path. This is especially true in a culture that has turned from God (Romans 1:24-26).
To make matters worse, the substitute love and acceptance gives temporary relief. Many find that an easier path than having to face the pain and hurt from the past and work them through. Also, the anger that masks the pain is often taken out on parents and the world in general by their turning against society and being homosexual.
Of course this doesn’t happen to all children who feel rejection from their same-sex parent. All current statistics show that only about 1% of the male population is exclusively gay. There aren’t nearly the numbers they claim.
We must remember that we all have a free will and, while some sins may be more easily overcome, there is no excuse to remain in any sin. The Bible does clearly call homosexuality a sin (Rom 1:26-27; Lev 18:22-23; 20:13-16; Dt 23:17, 27:21; Gen 19:5-8; Judg 19:22; etc.). If God says it is wrong, He must also provide a way out for those caught in its trap.
CURE FOR HOMOSEXUALITY
Much of what was said in the previous article about sexual addiction applies here.
First, it must be confessed as sin. There can be no excuse or justification, no blame or self-pity. It must be confessed (I John 1:9 – admit it is sin) and the person’s desire must be to not remain in that sin but we willing, with God’s help, to never commit it again. Also, God’s forgiveness must be accepted (Psalm 103:8-14). Accepting God’s forgiveness and forgiving ones self can be the hardest part!
Second, the person must depend on God’s strength to overcome the sin and change. Spiritual warfare praying when tempted, close contact with a prayer partner, regular fellowship with other Christians, meaningful daily devotions, memorization of Scripture — all of these are important factors. One must depend moment by moment on the power of the Holy Spirit to bring victory.
Third, understand the causes from the past that opened one up to the sin. Forgive the person(s) involved. Turn to your Father-God (“Abba”) and ask Him to heal you from that and meet your unmet needs.
Finally, learn right relationships to the same and opposite sexes. Reach out and open yourself up, trusting God and others to show acceptance and love. It takes time, but learn to rightly relate to others.
OUR ATTITUDE TOWARD HOMOSEXUALS
As with all in sin, we are to love and reclaim the person while rejecting the sin. While that is easier to say than to do, we must remember that sin is sin No sin is worse than any other. Jesus paid for every sin. God forgives and forgets, so must we. We are not to judge or condemn but to love. While humbly warning about the consequences of the sin of homosexuality (in this world and the next), we must show love and acceptance to the person themselves. More rejection is NOT what they need. God can and does forgive any sin. They are no worse than us and need the love of God as much as we do!
Ask God to help you have the right attitude to these people so that you can show God’s love to them. Then pray for opportunities to practice that and be sensitive to chances to reach out in love with the GOOD news of Jesus.
PRAY: Ask God to help you see those with different sexual orientation as Jesus sees them – as human beings worthy of love and compassion. Pray for them as you would have others pray for you, with love and respect.
by Rev. Dr. Jerry Schmoyer, Christian Training Organization