BROKENNESS
By Rev. Dr. Jerry Schmoyer jerry@schmoyer.net
http://india.christiantrainingonline.org/
Hello – my name is Peter
Maybe you heard about me…
I was a disciple of Jesus
In fact I was the leader, the head, the spokesman
I was the biggest and the best
I was the one Jesus could always count on
I was the one he needed
I was the one who never let Him down
-at least I thought I was, until I learned differently
And I learned that lesson the hard way
I wasn’t as great as I thought I was
Maybe you’ve learned the same lesson?
TRANSITION
Anyway, I’d like to tell you my story today
It’s not always pretty – but its always true
You may identify with what I say
-I hope so
-that’s why I’m telling it to you!
First I’d better give you a little background . . . .
I. BROKENNESS – THE NEEDED
PROBLEM
Disciple – called, 2 yrs with Jesus
Knew as cousin, now 24-7
Leader, spokesman of disciples
Always talking
Big ego – all about me, self-confident to a fault
I could do it all, Jesus needed me, I would take care of Jesus
LAST SUPPER MEAL
Told Jesus He was wrong, not deny Him
knew I wouldn’t, could depend on self to do it
GETHSEMANE
Asleep – tired!
ATTACK WITH SWORD
Me confused, surprised, afraid – HAD to do something!
Missed head, cut off lobe of right ear
Trying to give Jesus time to get away
DISCIPLES FLED
I didn’t wait for any more, saw opening in back & was gone! out of these! (others same)
Completely forgot promise to not desert Him
Looked back for one last glimpse before behind rocks
Knocked Jesus to ground, tying hands & feet with ropes & chains
I ran and ran way back in woods, hid with John
Found out what happened later:
Pieced together what we saw, others saw, Jesus said later – here’s what happened …
JESUS BOUND
Tied cruelly, roughly
ABRAHAM had ISAAC bound for sacrifice nearby
led like sheep to slaughter!
TO JERUSALEM
Across Kidron (red with BLOOD)
Thru SHEEP Gate
Past Temple (hear LAMBS dying)
Through Jerusalem (after midnight, street deserted
To Annas, ex-High Priest
TRIAL 1 – ANNAS
Judas: star (only) witness – missing!
Paid to testify against Jesus, not just betray
Revenge never as satisfying as we imagine
Satan ‘dumps’ him after kiss, sees clearly
Watches from distance, guilt & awareness
Trial goes on without witness
MOCKERY of justice! justify murder
How you feel if before judge trying to kill you
PETER OUTSIDE
Curious, couldn’t stay away – drug John along to find out
Jesus said: 1. Pray for protection (didn’t!)
2. Get away for safety (didn’t!)
Act in own strength!
Not come to rescue, apologize, comfort, help
Just to satisfy curiosity
No plan, over-confident in own ability
DENIAL 1
John well known, in easily
I was dawdling behind, separated in crowd
Then I approached the servant girl at the gate…
“I AM NOT!” Out of mouth before gave it thought!
Courage, self-confidence gone!!!
-didn’t pray like Jesus said
-should have stayed away, not ready!
Satan caught him off guard! not expect tempt here!
all heroic promises gone
all courage in self
Just an ARROGANT COWARD!
her sarcasm hit Peter’s pride!
STEPS TO SIN
1. PRIDE & SELF-CONFIDENCE at meal
not let Jesus wash feet
insist Jesus wrong @ me denying Him
2. PRAYERLESSNESS in Garden when told 3x to pray
3. ENERGY OF THE FLESH when attacked Malchus
4. DRAGS HIS FEET
5. HANGING AROUND WITH JESUS’ ENEMIES
no business being in courtyard, pretending unbel
6. DENIAL itself inevitable
TRAIL 2 – CAIAPHAS
Meanwhile Jesus taken to another part of same house where Caiaphas held another court session
Remember: not a TRIAL but a PLOT (murder plot)
wanted Him DEAD
If not now never would win!
Must kill Him today!
Needed Rome’s approval!!
Must have justifiable excuse or no approval
Brought in many false witnesses
Needed 2 to agree @ something !
PHYSICALLY ABUSED prisoner again!
-spit in His face (you ever been spit in face?)
-slapped (like being slapped?)
-struck Him with fists, lit “smashed” repeatedly
-blindfolded & struck – “prophesy who hit you?”
mockery, ridicule
Satan filling them with hatred of Jesus!
DENIAL 2
I could hear the uproar start where I was in courtyard
people at windows watched yelling about it
At fire warming hands, with same ones attacked in Geth!
Servant girl off duty, walked past
Surprised, off guard again – fear takes over
PANIC: “I don’t know what you’re talking about!”
Others joined in accusing me, I vehemently denied it all
No one believed me, all looked & whispered, watched
Everyone looking for news, and I’M news!
Couldn’t escape without making more notice
Time passes: one hour, two hours
People talk about other things, start to relax
Felt OK again (never remembered 3 denials prophecy)
Then it happened
DENIAL 3
Group nearby talking louder and louder, look & point me
Loud enough for all nearby to hear
Recognized me (big, Galilean dress, accent)
Some call out to me, accusing me
Others saying something behind my back
NOT overly bothered that I was a follower of Jesus
BUT that I kept lying and denying it, saying they wrong
MALCHUS RELATIVE there, recognized me!
Cold sweat, despite how chilly I had been
Every notice how sins come back to haunt you?
Curse! Swear! vile fisherman language! (sailors)
emotions out of control
“I don’t know this man you’re talking about!”
more I denied it, more convinced I was!
ROOSTER CROW
Immediately rooster crowed (3-4 AM)
Reality struck – bottom dropped out!
Scales off eyes and remembered – too late!
“Oh, no!!!!!”
SEE JESUS
Movement out of corner of eye caught my attention
Man led thru courtyard from COUNCIL ROOM
At first split second not recognize Him
Face black & blue, eyes swollen shut
Spit all over face
Blood dripping down on shoulders – AWFUL
Something about walk, carriage, robe – knew Him
He paused, looked right at me, caught my eye
PETER’S RESPONSE
Reality of it all hit home – ton of bricks!
What I’d bragged – what I’d done!
I saw the hurt in His eyes
Not from physical suffering
But from my cursing rejection
I hurt Him in way enemies never could!
NEVER forget that look!
Immediately He was shoved on, encounter over!
Everyone gathered in that direction – Forgot me
Ran out through gate, weeping (2nd time that night
WEPT: profusely, loud, long, bitterly
long after out of tears kept on
couldn’t stop!!!
only thing that made me feel better!
GUILT, FAILURE: at my strong point
commitment to protect, be with Him
Instead of protecting Him I hurt Him!
Always before my Sanguine temperament got me through
Now it got me in trouble!!!
TRANSITION
Later, with hindsight, I could see clearly what God was doing
II. BROKENNESS – THE PROCESS
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PETER BROKEN
1. God targets areas of life in which we need to be broken – Peter “I won’t let you die/wash my feet” “I won’t deny you”
2. God arranges circumstances in which we are to be broken, allows us to set ourselves in a position for it – Peter denying the Lord
3. Chooses the tools by which we are to be broken – little girl asking ?
4. Controls the pressure that will be placed upon us – looking into the eyes of Jesus
5. Determines the amount of time necessary to break us – came to Peter right after resurrection
TRIAL 3 – SANHEDRIN
Meanwhile ‘official’ trial of Jesus taking place
I found out about it later…
All top men in Israel gathered (but Nic, Jo of Arim)
All illegal
Similar to Trial 2: question, blasphemy
Sentence: death
Next stop: PILATE
I didn’t find out any of this until later!
Just thinking of my ‘problem’ not Jesus’
Wounded pride, ego
Admitting I on my own was a FAILURE!
PETER DURING THIS TIME
Roaming streets, looked awful, felt worse!
Always before Jesus bail me out, forgive & restore Not this
Always before someone else to blame it on Not this time!
Always before convince self I could/would do better. Not this
Always had something else to think @, focus on Not this time!
Supporting, loving Jesus something REALLY wanted to do,
Tried my best, Used all my strength – totally failed!
Would He still LOVE me? How could He?
All night, most of next day I roamed the streets…
Eventually my wife found, took to Upper Room
Most miserable I’ve ever been in life! NEVER want to go
HIT BOTTOM like never before
If couldn’t depend on self, who could depend on?
that’s right – only Jesus!
But He was DEAD!!! Those who were there told me
Then Sunday morning it all changed! He WASN’T dead!
I saw Him, actually He found me along
Reassured me of His forgiveness and LOVE
Can you believe that? He still LOVED me!
Despite all I’d done – and not done?
I BROKE! SOMETHING INSIDE ME BROKE!
Something died
The old peter died
I died to myself,
No longer could I fool myself with self-confidence, etc
The WORST thing that ever happened to me
The BEST thing that ever happened to me
If it’s happened to you then you know what I’m talking about!
And if it hasn’t it will – we all need it!
BROKENNESS – WE ALL NEED IT
Ps 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Like a horse being broken to be good for rider, instant obed
John 12:23-24 Jesus replied, “The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified. I tell you the truth, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds.
Life comes from DEATH: -Jesus
-us to that which keeps us from 100% obedience
Why don’t give it up?
afraid we’ll miss something, lack something nice for us,
afraid God won’t help us through it and too much happen
Would God take anything away from you that is good for you?
Parent to child: takes away pretty, shiny knife child cries
Parent cruel? no! – same with God!
PAUL had to go through this to be useful
Paul calls self “bondslave” – crucified with Christ Gal 2:20
saddle-broke to God
You DO know what your area of brokennes is!
Passed through your mind this morning
maybe excused it, justified it, denied it
Always some area of SELF
self-will, self-reliance self-sufficiency, self-dependency
Goal of brokenness = destroy SELF
so can live in full dependency on HIM
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God circles it with bullseye
Jealous God – no other gods, competition, love
He’ll break it!
Those God has most difficult time breaking are those who are most gifted, talented, having most as far as world is concerned. Depend on that, put faith in that!
Don’t want to give up reigns of their lives
Too proud to be a slave of Jesus!
If you want intimacy in your walk with Jesus
If you want effectiveness in your service for Jesus
Then brokeness is God’s way to make that a reality
EXAMPLES:
Moses: anger problem
Jonah: bitterness problem
Paul: self-sufficiency problem
Peter: pride problem
TRANSITION
Restored to Jesus, but unsure of self, not trust self any more
Good – humble
Bad – how to move ahead, do what should do?
III. BROKENNESS – THE APPLICATION
PENTECOST
Holy Spirit fill – source of power
Break self so see need of His power, use it
Preach sermon
3,000 saved that day total 3,120 believers!
CRIPPLED MAN HEALED
About 2,000 believed
PERSECUTION
Jailed, trust in God, released
LEADER OF EARLY CHURCH
Ananias & Sapphira – pronounce judgment on hypocrisy, killed
Aeneas healed instantly
Tabitha (Dorcas) raised back to life
Cornelius – first Gentile, privilege to Peter
FAITHFUL TO DEATH
MARTYRED along with wife, crucified upside down
Rome 54 AD – Nero
TRANSITION
Change came from letting God break me so He could use me
Depend on self – pride, failure
Depend on Him – success
He wants to do the same with you
PROMISES related to breaking
1. God only breaks us in love
2. Brokenness is God’s discipline in our lives with the purpose that we will be more usable in future service
Other forms of discipline are to chastise us to have us live holy for Him right now
Brokenness is for future service
Punishment is only for unbel, never for bel
3. God sets limitations on our periods of brokenness
Time – how long
Intensity of the pain – how much
Like furnace heated to melt ore into iron — never too much, but always just right heat and time
God EXPERT at that timing!
Length of time it takes determined by
length of time it will take determined by what God is trying to break us from – lifelong trains of thought, attitudes, dependency on another person, childhood things, etc.
length of time it takes for us to submit and stop rebelling/refusing
4. God’s process of breaking us ceases when our will is broken. He doesn’t want to break our spirit, just our will.
5. The process of brokenness ceases at the moment it would damage God’s great purpose for our lives.
Not allow our spirit to be broken
Not allow our live to be taken prematurely
Paul never died before God’s time!
6. God deepens our understanding through seasons of brokenness
sensitivity to others hurting
compassion, not judging and criticizing others
responding to God’s will in our lives
7. God never deserts us through our time of brokenness
“I will never leave you or forsake you”
He does break us from attachments we shouldn’t have, things/people we are dependent on instead of Him, having control of our own lies ourselves,
God wants us only dependent on Him !!!
Then we can go back to the other people and things we used to depend on and enjoy them with balance, not need/dependency/insecurity – relationships can be more healthy, etc.
Only this way can we have healthy, balanced relationships
8. God is always patient with us through our periods of brokenness
9. If you continue to rebel and refuse to submit no matter what, there comes a time when God stops and
-sets you on the shelf, stop growing, feeling close to Him, useful
-takes you home to heaven prematurely
10. God will lead you to victory through brokenness — if we are willing to submit to His will
When we rebel against His breaking experience we delay the work of God and waste years when there will be no fruit or reward
“Like all living tissue, bone is constantly being broken down and reformed.”
The words seemed to apply not only to our bodies but to the perpetual Christian emphasis on brokenness. Repent! Confess! Acknowledge your sinfulness.
As long as my relationship to God is alive, this biological fact seems to suggest the tearing-down process will be part of it. The confession of sin, the admission of guilt, will go hand in hand with renewal….There can be no growth without pruning, no rebirth without death.
CONCLUSION
Ps 51:17 The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.
Will you pray
Lord, more than anything in this life I want to be close to you and useful to you. I give you authority to break me in whatever area needs breaking so I can be closer to you and serve you better.
PRAY SILENTLY (kneel, come to front)
Break – brokenness!
Tell Him you love Him