CONFLICT WILL HAPPEN (Conflict Resolution 1)
Conflict. We can’t get away from it. From Cain and Abel until the present, nations, individuals, families, and churches have had conflict. They come from our sinful nature. James 4:1-2 says: “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you? You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight.” Only when the Prince of Peace returns will there be real peace on earth between people. Until then, we must learn to manage our conflicts and control them so they don’t control us.
Paul, Timothy and Titus faced many conflicts with other people. Most were with fellow Christians. One of the reasons Paul wrote 1 Timothy was to help him handle the problems and disagreements among people in the church at Ephesus. That’s why Timothy was sent there, but he was having a hard time stopping the fights and struggles among the people. That is true of many pastors and churches today as well.
Conflict is inevitable, but it must be handled in a godly way. When those who aren’t believers fight, the one who is the loudest, largest, strongest or richest usually gets their own way. There often is no satisfactory reconciliation, there is just a winner and a loser. But that isn’t the way it is to be among Christians in church or in the home. It always made me sad when my children fought and didn’t get along. I’m sure our Heavenly Father is sad, too, when He sees His children acting the same way.
Conflict is inevitable because we are all born naturally selfish and self-centered. We put self first. That’s our sin nature. Satan stirs up our flesh and engineers’ conflict wherever possible, especially among Christians in church and home.
The way of the world is to fight to win: might makes right. But the way of the cross is to look at our individual part in the conflict honestly and humbly. It’s easier to blame others, much harder to overlook their faults and focus on our own. Yet God’s Word says “for ALL have sinned” (Romans 3:23). Jesus Himself taught, “Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3-5).
It’s very clear that, if we are going to follow Jesus, we must look for our own faults and part in the conflict before concerning ourselves with others. This first step is very important if there is to be true reconciliation and resolution, not just having a winner and loser. Either both parties win or no one really wins. That is especially true in marriage, but in church and individual relationships as well.
What might we have done, even unintentionally, to contribute to the conflict?
What could we have done to prevent or end the conflict?
Has our attitude to the other person been one of compassion and forgiveness, or is there revenge or bitterness inside?
cto Rev. Dr. JERRY SCHMOYER
Christian Training Organization
Jerry@ChristianTrainingOrganization.org
(India Outreach, Spiritual Warfare, Family Ministries, Counseling, World View)
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